Don’t store your cucumbers in the refrigerator

Pfft. According to UC Davis, the optimum temperature for cucumber storage is 50-55°F (15°C=60°F).

I live on a freaking subtropical island. Where the hell am I supposed to put a cucumber where it will stay at 55 degrees? When you live at sea level, root cellars aren’t an option. Oh well, I guess the moral of the story is to eat them right away. Pfft again.
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