Here Are The Only Drink Coasters That Don't Suck

These past few years, I've been on a mission to find the perfect drink coasters. Ideally, I wanted coasters that were absorbent, quick-drying, dishwasher safe, and heavy enough that they never stick to the bottom of your glass. I also wanted them to look nice, but I was willing to settle for an ugly coaster that just worked. And boy, did I try A LOT of coasters.

These coasters suck.

I bought every kind of plastic, rubber and silicone coaster I could get my hands on, but they ALL stuck to the bottom of my glass - even though a lot of them SPECIFICALLY said they wouldn't. That means condensation from your glass drips down and pools in the coaster (they usually have a rim to keep the water contained). So far, so good. But then randomly and inevitably, the coaster would stick to the glass which means all that water spills all over your table or your lap or whatever. And then after that water goes everywhere, the coaster falls off the glass and rolls across your floor and into that tiny space between your TV stand and the wall. Fuck these coasters. They suck.

Then I moved on to metal coasters. These are basically just a flat metal disk - usually with some kind of rubber anti-skid, anti-scratch coating on the bottom and optionally with grippy rubber on top too. Some of these were heavy enough not to stick to the bottom of my glass and some weren't. But ALL of them just allowed the condensation to flow off the coaster and onto the table. I mean, they're fine for hot drinks or wine, but these just don't work for cold drinks in this Florida humidity. Another fail. 

Next, I tried glass coasters. These come in two varieties. The first variety is just a flat, glass disk, and it behaved just as badly as the flat metal coasters. The second variety (see above) has a rim around the edge to contain the condensation. That rim makes it more difficult to set your glass down because you have to make sure it's perfectly centered on the coaster. That's just not something I want to deal with. Yes, I am that lazy. Sue me.

So then I tried sandstone coasters. Now, I've owned many sets of sandstone coasters over the years, so I already knew they're impossible to clean, but I gave them another go anyway. Guess what? They're impossible to clean. They end up getting clogged with dirt and oil and gunk which cancels out their absorbency. These things are great for like a week, and then they're disgusting. Plus, they're too fricken expensive. But they're pretty. If I wanted a coaster for a candle or a vase or even a wine glass, I would totally recommend these. But for cold drinks, not so much.

So by now, you're like JEEZ JUST GET TO THE RECOMMENDATION ALREADY. Fine. These slate coasters are as close to perfect as you're going to get. They're absorbent and quick-drying. They're heavy enough that they will never stick to your glass. They look nice, and they only cost about $1.50 each. Also, ignore the part where they say to clean them by hand. These fuckers can go right into the dishwasher.

I ❤ these coasters.

I've had mine for almost a year, and I'm kind of in love with them. Here's a link to the coasters on Amazon. Did I spend entirely too much time and money researching dumbass drink coasters? OMG, absolutely. But now you don't have to.